Friends

I'm so not sure what to think about this girl.

I'm 20 -- transferred to university where I met this 18 year-old girl. Now, I'm usually good at keeping any homo feelings for straight girls at bay, but this girl blows my mind. I've never interacted with such a differently wired human being before.

She seems to be completely uninfluenced by society. She just has the strangest rambling way of talking, seems to be completely unphased by modern style within the last 20 years, is reading like 5 books at any given time, takes conversations to completely aberrant places and is just generally so fascinating that I was instantly attracted to her. It also helps that she has a really nice body.

She compliments me, tells me my (insert attribute) is sexy. Lets me flirt with her but seems either flattered and reciprocal, unsure, or uncomfortable. I can't tell. It doesn't help that she hasn't had any sort of romantic interaction because of her extreme deviation from society's stupid definition of normalcy. I'm not sure if she's playing around or not. She's so ridiculously sarcastic I have to ask her what she is trying to say to me sometimes. She usually just giggles and veers the conversation elsewhere. I assume she's heterosexual; she's talked about being able to onjectively discern a woman's attractiveness; another time she became offended when I was taking to her about threesomes and assumed that in a hypothetical situation she'd want to be with two men instead of another woman.

The thing is that even if she was attracted to me and it was a FACT, I don't know that she would show it or even know how. This girl is just really really unpredictable.

man...

How often do you and your girlfriend communicate about problems that have been building in your relationship? Do you automatically talk about problems as soon as they arise?

I'm dating someone who has Commitment-phobia.

She and I don't have here-and-now issues. Our relationship is doing very well -- with one exception. We've been dating for close to two years, and we are slowly moving towards a more long-term situation. It looks like we'll be moving in together before the end of the year. I am excited about this, and, for the most part, so is she. Except the idea of settling down makes her panic sometimes. It's been an issue in her previous relationships as well.

Sometimes the panics are just brief moments of anxiety which are usually cured with snuggles and love. However, sometimes the panics get out of hand and she starts talking about breaking up with me. Last weekend was essentially a roller-coaster in which she kept changing her mind about whether or not she could handle staying with me a long-term relationship. At times I honestly thought it was completely over.

Does anyone have any advice for dating someone with Commitment-phobia? It's getting difficult to deal with, and now I'M starting to have doubts about the relationship.

My situation is simple: I'm crushing on a girl and don't know if she's gay.

I'm 21, so I've certainly been here before, but I don't have time for the usual getting to know you and I don't want to beat around the bush, so to speak. Finals are next week and I have only one class left (Tuesday) with her.

Today we stayed after class together to make sure all our workbook questions were filled in. She's very smart, aces all the tests, and is pretty much a geographical encyclopedia of knowledge. I think I've conveniently waited this long to think of asking her out because if she says no then I won't have awkward future classes with her, heh. However, I haven't mentioned much to feel her out... We've only had time for small talk a couple times right before class.

Around my birthday she asked what I was doing and I told her my friend was taking me to a gay bar, and she said it sounded fun. But that's really not at all a conclusive statement regarding whether she herself is gay!

It seems I no longer make a habit of crushing on straight girls, and I'm hoping my semi-reliable queerdar is improving.

She knows I'm gay because of the pronouns I used when I told her about the dates I've been on recently, but she hasn't ever mentioned any romantic interests.

I could ask her if she wants to get together outside of class or get coffee with me. But I'm leaning towards the quick and easy way of finding out by just asking the yes or no, "Hey, Sam, just wondering - are you gay?" I'm not expecting a catastrophic reaction to that question, but I'm wondering who else has used the blunt approach and do you recommend it?

At this moment my hand says "Soldier" because I had something written on my hand and I washed all of it off but the word soldier. My mom sees that I get yelled at. [Takes break to clean it off]

On the other hand [nothing is written]. I've come to realize that I have no chance of waiting for her. Not unless she plans on dating someone who lives in another state. Wait wait wait, lets start from the beginning.

My house is always on the verge of being foreclosed on and we often have money issues. So often that my mother owes me over $400. Due to my house literally going on the foreclosure list and my mother getting a lawyer to be able to save it blah blah blah, we eventually have to move. The house will be secure through the spring. That's not that far away. And even if it is, PJ just wants us to pack up and go whenever because he's tired of having to dish out money for the house. So I will be moving out of state. Most likely somewhere near Wisconsin. Which that really I have no problem with.

Second half of the beginning of the story--I got to see my soldier before she left on Thursday. And now she is in training for 60 days. Then she has 10 days back.. then she has her 14 month tour in Afghanistan. She told me that when she comes back if there are still feelings that maybe we can actually try dating then. And all this time I've been thinking about when she's going to be coming back and how much I miss her. And how I want to see her and find a way to be with her.

Um hi, anyone else get the picture here? My house will be secure through THIS Spring. Not NEXT Spring when she is coming back. So when she comes back I won't even be in Connecticut anymore. So even if there ARE still feelings there is no way that I could be with her.. ever.

I don't like that word.. ever.. or the fact that it is true.

Fuck.

How am I supposed to deal with this? And even... should I tell her before she is deployed? I don't want her missing me and thinking of all the possibilities of when she comes home for her to find I'm gone. Or should I not tell her before she leaves? I don't want to send her into a depression or even hurt her. We both mean a lot to each other and I don't want to hurt her. But either way it seems I would cause her to get hurt. Is there another option?

Anyone know the age of all of TLW ladies throughout the series?

ok, so it's been about 1.5 years since me and my ex split up (who i've been with for ~2 years, did the whole uhaul thing until living together and incompatibility killed our relationship). she is living with someone from my course who i am very attracted to and generally like quite a lot (and have been seeing for the past two weeks). ex is not happy and asked me to make sure we stay out of her face, which i am fine with as i suppose your ex dating your housemate might be a bit annoying. i suppose. however i can't really decide if i am a horrible person for seeing housemate in the first place, and this is bugging me as i don't want to cause drama and, you know, be a horrible person.

should i not see housemate so as to spare ex's feelings (which i find a bit difficult to understand as we've been hanging out as friends quite successfully and, well, amicably, often with whoever we were respectively seeing at the time), give it some time so the situation sorts itself out, or just chill the fuck out and not worry about silly things such as this here present concern which i present to you in humble confusion and silliness. ???

Has anyone see Everybody's Fine? I was totally in shock when I saw Kate Moennig walk in with a baby on her arm saying she couldn't find a sitter. To me she'll just never be that straight, mommy type of actress. I think she turned out to be gay though or am I mistaken? Did anyone watch this movie?

The userinfo mentions "Want people to know you're queer without having to wear an 'I LIKE GIRLS IN THAT WAY' tshirt?"

So... how do I do that? It completely evades me.

More specifically: one of my closest friends at college is bi. The other is a lesbian. They seem to think I'm straight. Despite the fact I attend LGBTQetc. meetings! The meetings aren't even very fun - the main reason I keep attending the meetings is that the girl I have a crush on does!

I've known them for about three months, and for a while I did intentionally lead people to assume I'm straight, so it seems it would be rather awkward to come out now. But I die a little inside every time I'm treated like the token straight chick, so how do I come out to them?

I'm rather shy when I'm not running off at the mouth like a total moron, so help is very much needed. If I tried to simply say, "So, I can't believe I didn't mention this earlier, but I'm actually bi," I would probably develop selective mutism. But if I must, I shall.

Edit: Thank you all! Mission accomplished. I actually kind of brought it up a bit apropos of nothing like any other random topic of conversation, but it wasn't particularly awkward or any kind of a big deal.